The tale of adoption and chicken curry

"Sister?"
"Yes, sister?"
"Will my American mother make me chicken curry?"

 Adoption is a bit of a buzzword around here. India is one of the hardest countries in the world to adopt from. The lack of organization and corruption in the Indian government makes the adoption process tedious and long. But by the grace of God two of our children are thisclose to being with their forever families.
Unlike some I feel like I have know what adoption is all my life. My mom and my sister have both worked as social workers for an adoption agency. I have several friends that were adopted and several friends that have adopted. I have heard time and time again about how earthy adoption is a beautiful picture of how God loves his children. How He chose us to be in His family. But living with orphans in a third world country has made that vision come to life. Having lived my entire life as in entitled American child and living six months with 108 orphans, the dichotomy in our childhoods could not be more obvious to me. As I sat on the steps having a heart to heart conversation with one of our school girls about her American family I was suddenly struck with the thought, "This girl has no idea what she is in for."
Neither of these two children have ever met their new families. Yet I have seen the evidence that despite this fact they are already loved well. As she sits and tells me about having her own room I realize she has no concept of what that even means. Even in all the blessings our children receive in being a part of SCH they have almost nothing that is "theirs alone". No sharing with 8 other sisters. The fact that she has grown up in rural India where the concept of grocery stores, libraries, malls and movies theatres are things that she has no basis to begin to understand.This girlie is about to have her socks knocked off.
I am the daughter of a Daddy whom I have never met face to face but daily He gives me evidence that He loves me. Sometimes, I get so bogged down with worries that are no bigger then trying to figure out if I am going to have chicken curry for dinner. He whispers to my soul saying, "I have prepared a mansion for you child. The streets are paved with gold. I am there in my full glory." I have done absolutely nothing to be called a child of God and he has made me a princess. I am going to have my socks knocked off when I get to heaven.
And just like when I lose a brother or sister to their heavenly forever home, the day when one of our children goes to home with their forever family, it will be bittersweet. There will be tears out of selfishness and jealousy because those of us here won't get to see their smiley faces every day or feel the warmth of their hugs. But there will be a huge massive celebration because our brothers and sisters are finally home. Forever.

Dear Chilie,
I love that every time I come to visit you have written a new story for me to read. Yesterday, when we read together I realized that you have an amazing story lady. For you have been chosen not once but twice. I pray that you learn to yell it from the rooftops and that when people hear you they will come to know your Daddy. May you come to know and believe that you are a princess, the daughter of The King. My heart is bursting for this new life adventure you are about to embark on. I praise God for the wonderful forever family that has found you. I love you sweet sister and I will be waiting to read your book.

*Chilie is Telugu for little sister.

India Life Q&A

Biggest differences in nursing in America vs. nursing in India?
Autonomy. In a hospital setting in the States I have a pretty wide range of what I can do without calling a doctor. While there is definitely a hierarchy in terms of doctors and nurses in American medicine, here it is much more pronounced. Part of the reason is cultural and in part do to education. Indian culture is steeped in hierarchy from the caste system, to families and the workplace. Doctors have more education and therefore are on top of the totem pole even fresh out of med school. Most of the nursing education is book learning and then when you graduate you get the practical experience. Comparatively there is very little clinical time during nursing school.  In America I as a nurse have a lot more ability to question and make suggestions to doctors. Doctors and nurses are view almost like partners (at least from the nurses perspective!) working for the good of the patient. Here I find that questioning is viewed as a sort of insubordination. Not that nurses don't advocate for their patients here just maybe not as intensely as in America. Needless to say I have surprised more then one doctor with my approach to nursing.... There are pros and cons to both medical systems and I would like to write a blog on my medical experience here in India someday, but probably only the nurses would care :-)

How is your skin and hair color perceived there?
I live in a very rural area of India and there are villages around us that have maybe seen five white people in their lives. Needless to say, being white and blond is a novelty.. Fair skin is considered beautiful because it means you have never had to work in the fields for your food. We are stared at all the time. I mean ALL the time. Sometimes being white gains you extra "privileges" but at the same time it can be very hindering to living a normal life or ministry. I once took one of our little girls to church in our neighbourhood and I had to leave because all the local children where standing at the door saying "Hi, America"! People can be suspicious of you and your motives when you are white. And it is widely understood that white= wealth so we are constantly charged higher prices or being asked for money. Another downside is that we look so different we sometimes make village children cry at the sight of us....:-(

 What do you like to eat? Not like to eat?   
I generally really like south Indian food spiciness and all. Uttma, idly, dosa, chapatti, samosas, parota are some of my favourite foods for meals. Only breakfast foods are free from the required rice. Pulihora (translated it means "tiger rice") or lemon rice is my favourite rice dish. There are thousands of curries/sandbar/chutney combinations and I don't really have a favourite one. As long as I can eat more then one bite without tears welling up and snot running from the spiciness I am good! Street food is a huge thing here. People set up stalls on the street with a little propane tank and a cooking surface. You can get anything from sweets to a full meal usually for less then $1 and sometimes it is much better then a sit down restaurant! And of course how could I forget chai!!! American chai is absolutely nothing like Indian chai. Probably because American chai has about 1/6 the sugar! There are two designated tea times in my home 7am and late afternoon. Although I tend to skip the afternoon one because chai has more caffeine then coffee....
I have had a really hard time with meat in India. It is hard to come from a home where meat is served at least once a day to a place where it might be served three times a week. Because of the Hindu traditions of vegetarianism that are deeply ingrained in the culture meat is a rare occurrence, even for Christians. The butchers in the towns tend to be Muslim men. Here in my house the kids get hard boiled eggs for every dinner. The cooks also prepare chicken, beef (here we call it mutton, but it's not lamb) and fish (fresh, because we are 45 min from the ocean). For me the meat tends to be greasy and is always cooked with the bones attached (even the fish). I have had a hard time eating it. Needless to say a good cheeseburger is high on my list of foods to eat when I get home... (also sadly, cheese as we know it, doesn't exist either.)

What American food, etc do you miss?
I could write an extremely long list of things I miss from home. I don't dwell on them and I think it's probably natural to miss home. On the flip side there is an equally long list of things I love about my life in India and for right now that list is out weighing the "miss list".


How's your Hindi? 
Actually in Andrha Pradesh ,the providence I live in, Hindi is not widely spoken. Telugu is the regional language. While it is spoken by millions of people, it is only geographically spoken in this providence.  My language skills are very poor. I understand more then I speak. I can get my point across around town and to the ayahs and can generally understand what is being spoken to me.  Hoping to be starting a Telugu class with my fellow volunteers soon! The nurses I work with speak anywhere from passable English to fluent. The doctors in the hospitals are generally fluent in English as well.
I was told once by a stranger here in Ongole that I couldn't possibly be very good at working with the kids if I didn't speak their language. While I know enough of the language to punish and praise our children, I also know that hugs, kisses, smiles and time outs are the same in any language :-) Our school kids learn English in school and some have almost mastered it.

How much of your work is medical vs mothering? 
Gosh, I don't even know how to separate the two anymore! Because my job generally includes not fun things like medicine, needles and hospital visits I have tried really hard to make sure that the kids do not only associate me with only those things. I try to play, eat, and do daily life with the kids as much as possible so they remember me that way. It also helps me gain a baseline medically for these kids and helps me know how to treat them better. Right now I administer daily medication to 12 children in the morning and evening. The rest of the day is spent ensuring the other homes have medications they need and kids are going to the doctor if need be. No matter what I am doing there are always kids and young adults  so "mothering" is part of the job description. Since I am not a house mother who lives with the kids 24/7 I prefer the title of aunt :-) Raising children, especially when you have 111 (yup, we got some new ones!), is a communal feat in India. It takes a village, right?

And, how have you been blessed personally so far?
The list is long. God has given me a chance to fall head over heels in love with his special children. I never expected that to happen. I live in a community of white women who challenge me to think differently and love better. I have been surrounded by a world wide church family that has prayed me through hard times and celebrated the good ones. I have a family at home that loves me and fights for me daily. I could go on and on but I have truly learned the meaning of being "more then blessed"