Okati

     A couple of days ago my dad asked me if I was having “fun”.  I had to answer no, India month one has not been “fun” for me. It has certainly been an adventure but more of the Baja Trail then the Lake of Shining Waters kind. However, India month one has been freeing. God used month one to show me who I am without all the labels I use to define myself.  In America I am single independent women. In India none of these labels are good. Life is understood in community and women aren’t independent. In America I have a four year BSN that allows me to work confidently in top hospitals with autonomy. The degree and the title are almost useless to me in India. The medications have different names, the hospital system has no resemblance to Medicare and I know very little about my patients (think of it as starting a book in the middle). In America I have a close knit family and very dear friends. In India I am a stranger in a strange land. In America I am the chosen daughter of the King who holds me in the palm of His hand and has had divine plans laid out for since the begging of time. In India with all the distractions and labels stripped away I am finally able to see this as truth in my life.

I spent a large part of the month wondering what the heck I am doing in middle of nowhere India. I cried out to God asking for peace and a purpose for my skills and then I started asking for a sign that I should go home to America. He has not answered a single request. At least not the way I wanted. Instead He has given me mounds of adoption paperwork that no one else here has the time or knowledge to complete. He has given me a family of 7 other American women to live with. He has given me a sense of fulfillment when I look back over Victory Home after a week of an intense deep clean from top to bottom by a short term team. He has given me peace in the moments when I am on the floor underneath a pile of giggling girls. He has given me joy in watching a blind girl giggle for hours on end playing in a bucket of water or in seeing the pride of a young man bloom as he helps clean his room. He has given me a heart for the daily small blessings that I would have missed.

India month one was a Peter month for me. I had everything planned, figured out and I ended up drowning. Everything sunk under my feet. But my heavenly Father in His infinite grace and wisdom waits for me pulls me out of the pit and says, “Oh ye of little faith. Are you done yet? Can we get on with my plans now? I chose you for this but it cannot happen apart from me. You can bring nothing with you.  We must do it together, in my power, in my timing, for my glory.”

So here we go. Month two with a new heart. Lead on O King Eternal.

Prayer requests:

-Pray that I will live in a spirit of praise with this new found freedom of having no control.

-Pray that whatever I am doing I will be bringing glory to God.

-Pray for me as I try and discern the Lords will for my future here in terms of becoming a house parent for very sick children.

-Pray for me as I, along with one of my housemates, am accompanying 3 children (and ahyas/nurses) to Hyderabad (an 8 hour trip) for a week of upcoming surgeries.

-Continue to be praying about this http://awakenfromslumber.blogspot.in/2013/06/how-this-here-thing-works.html